mingling? the new dating?


June 12, 2012 by Kristen

This is something that I can no longer leave unaddressed. The Christian mingle ads appear on my television. Facebook thinks that I should sign up, with its incessant ads in my sidebar. Enough is enough. Disclaimer: if you are “mingling,” this post is not intended to mock you. Well, only a little. 

First came E-harmony. It had those ads with that scholarly looking Grandpa-guy adding a sense of legitimacy to the whole “internet dating” thing. Then there was Match.com and a slew of other internet dating sites. Then came…Christian Mingle. When I first saw an ad for Christian Mingle months ago, I thought it was some form of satire. I immediately googled it, thinking there was no way such a thing could be real. To my chagrin, it turned out to be a real thing.

First of all, mingle? Christian singles don’t mingle. They potluck. Have group game nights. Watch Fireproof and Facing the Giants.  Seriously, a bunch of Christians on this dating site aren’t going to mingle. As they watch all their other single friends walk down the aisle, they will frantically select the most compatible option, assume this person is their Boaz or Ruth, and immediately jump into a one month courtship with a culminating proposal. Oh wait, I spoke too soon. The individuals don’t make their own selections. The Christian Mingle ads boast, “find God’s match for you.” OH. So is that how God is doing things these days? Shoot. I mean if God is the webmaster of this site, putting these matches together, who am I to argue with that? Profile made.

Furthermore, I can’t help but feel like internet dating is a little fake. Everyone picks their best picture and lists their most attractive qualities. Really, your major flaw is that you “care too much?” And you genuinely enjoy talking about your feelings and being “vulnerable?” [Note: the word “vulnerable” is my equivalent of moist. Hate it.] Maybe, I just know I wouldn’t fit in because my profile would read: “I can be passive aggressive on occasion. I tend to like my space. I talk non-stop. I can cook, but I choose not to. I still sleep with stuffed animals and sometimes they talk.” My Matches: 0.

Speaking of profile, when doing my research for this post, I became torn. Some of the boys on the site seemed pretty normal. Oh no! Was I mingling?! Had I been sucked into the extension of the church’s singles ministry and the thing that I once loathed? …nope. I have way too much pride for that. And perhaps that is a bad thing, but it’s just who I am. But what works for me, may not work for others. So, I say to all you single Christians out there. Do your thing. Mingle, if that’s what you want to do. You’ll find someone who loves you…and I’ll have my pride to keep me warm at night. You win.

Internet dating…is that legit now or still weird?
Any stories about internet dating? Success? Any Christian “minglers” out there?


7 thoughts on “mingling? the new dating?

  1. G Fresh says:

    I actually met a girl a few years ago on Christian Mingle. It…did not work out. After two months we discovered we actually had nothing in common and our inability to talk to each other was hidden by our ability to make out for hours at a time to fill the awkward silences.

    After that I swore off internet dating.

    For awhile.

    Now I’m in the process of rethinking it as I’m kind of talking to this girl I met on one of the free sites (OKCupid, believe it or not). She came to my church last weekend, seems really cool and we communicate pretty well so we’ll see what happens.

    That said, my vote is still kind of out on internet dating in general (although I have seen it work for some people and I may be in the middle of it working for me), but I will say I wouldn’t bother with the Christian specific dating sites as they seem to be overpopulated with the holier-than-thou, fake-ish Christians who read Joshua Harris during their formative years and treat it as dating gospel. You can find plenty of Christians on any of the other, non-pandering dating sites.

  2. G Fresh says:

    Yeesh. I may have spoken too soon. There may in fact be some success stories out there and someday I may have one, but probably not because of an online dating site.

  3. Abby says:

    Oh no. Haha…this post is HILARIOUS. I am 27…and Christian…and single (aka: I’ve been in millions of weddings in the past seven years and all of my friends think I’m behind). My dad actually suggested Christian Mingle to me in all seriousness recently. I just can’t do it! I don’t know. I’m old-school I guess, but I agree with you. It seems like everyone would just put up the best (and therefore, not completely true) version of themselves. I don’t know…I’m on the fence…but I’m getting desperate. A couple more years of church set-ups and catching the bouquet and I might be jumping at the chance to fill out a profile. 🙂

    I love reading your blog!

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