Top 40 Breakdown

3

January 28, 2012 by Kristen

I’m starting a new series that I most likely will not keep up with due to time management issues, but nevertheless, I present you with: The Top 40 Breakdown. I take a Top 40 song, examine a few critical excerpts, and provide you with my commentary.  First up:

Pitbull’s “Give Me Everything.” (Foreshadowing a potential mugging?

Me not working hard? (Pitbull, is this rhetorical? because if  you want my honest opinion…)
Yea right picture that with a kodak (was that an attempt at some sort of figurative language?) 
And better yet, go to times square (uh, I’ve always wanted to go…but why now?) 
Take a picture of me with a Kodak (literally. No thanks, I can find a ton of pics on Tumblr.)
Took my life from negative to positive (Oh, you did that whole “work hard” thing–I get it.)
And I just want y’all know that (I got it. You “work” hard. But not at a 9-5 job…what exactly do you mean?)
Pitbull, Nayer, Ne-yo, Tesra (Hello, Pitbull. Pleasure to meet your friends as well. I’ll be sure to introduce myself later.) 
And tonight, let’s enjoy life (Okay. But not all the time. Just tonight specifically, right? Gotta respect the fun limit.)

Excuse me (Impressive manners, Mr. Pitbull. You’re quite the modern gentleman.)
But I might drink a little bit more than I should tonight (Oh, I will certainly excuse your public intoxication & drunken advances since you were courteous enough to warn me.)
And I might take you home with me if I could tonight (Ah, if only you could.) 
And I think you should let me cause I look good tonight (Very convincing argument.)
And we might not get tomorrow (Well, just in case your hawtness didn’t convince me, planting morbid thoughts about mortality happens to be my personal kryptonite. The last thing I should do on this planet, before I have to answer to my Maker, is go home with a man named Pitbull. Yes. Definitely.) 

Tonight I will love, love you tonight (You’ll love me? Already? Could you define “love” and use it in a sentence?  But not the sentence you just used, because that didn’t seem like actual “love” to me.) 
Give me everything tonight (Why did you just wink? I’m feeling rather uncomfortable. Personal space, heard of it?) 
For all we know we might not get tomorrow (Ah, the age old carpe diem argument.Well played. I prefer it coming from Mr. Keating though.)
Let’s do it tonight  (Let’s engage in highly inappropriate and foolish relations that we’ll regret immediately & potentially have to deal with for a lifetime due to the high risk of pregnancy, STD’s, and emotional damage? Sounds great.)

[random chick singing]

Forget what they say (Not going to listen to my friends who are saying it’s terrible idea to sleep with some random named Pitbull. His name is endearing in a…uh… just stop thinking. Oh, Pitbull just handed me another drink. Uhm, okay.) 
All my cares, they play (Forget common sense and any semblance of a  desire to remain STD-free)
Nothing is enough (It’s all about me)
‘Til I’ve had enough (America’s favorite pastime: self-interest)

Let’s do it tonight (and then enter a committed relationship, right?)
I want you tonight (Yeah, I’m picking up on that.)
I want you to stay (For forever? Or just tonight?) 
I want you tonight (Oh, just tonight then. Thanks for clearing that up.)

Grab somebody sexy, tell ’em hey (Physically assault someone sexy— NOT pretty, cute, beautiful, average…? Also, is “Hey!” really the best lead-in you could think of?)
Give me everything tonight (Cutting straight to the point. Good. Girls hate games anyways.)
Give me everything tonight (Ignore my look of disbelief & disdain and please repeat your request.)
Give me everything tonight (I am actually not hard of hearing. I am ignoring you.)
Give me everything tonight (Persistent. So that’s what you meant about working hard!)

Guys, download this gem as soon as possible.  




                                                            

 

 

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3 thoughts on “Top 40 Breakdown

  1. Lana K says:

    Have you been reading my mind? Every time I hear this song I think nearly the exactly same thing – glad someone actually voiced it though!

  2. This: “Well, just in case your hawtness didn’t convince me, planting morbid thoughts about mortality happens to be my personal kryptonite. The last thing I should do on this planet, before I have to answer to my Maker, is go home with a man named Pitbull. Yes. Definitely.”

    Cracked. Me. Up.

  3. lheathman says:

    Zach, Chad, and I read this yesterday….we all laughed 🙂 SO funny!

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