December 10, 2011 by Kristen
Enjoy your daily dose of snark.
-You squeal your tires and drive out of the parking lot at Nascar speeds. It doesn’t matter what type of car you’re driving, I think you’re the coolest.
-Every other word out of your mouth is a curse word. Your wide range of vocabulary and grasp of the English language leaves me speechless.
-You tip 5% or less when dining out. Financial wizardry. And you’re right…she did forget to bring your 4th water refill, so it’s what she deserves.
-You tell countless stories about how wasted you were/are. You seem so fun! Tell me more!
-Another girl hit on you? Wow, I suddenly want you more. I mean, if so many other girls find you attractive, the only logical conclusion is that I must swoon over you too, right?
-You liked their EP before they went mainstream. I feel even more impressed when you remind me that you saw them before me. At an intimate show in someone’s loft apartment. Before they sold out.
-You walk through the door in front of me. I like the reminder that men and women are equal and there shouldn’t be special treatment.
-You get into a fight to assert your manliness. Over something important, like a sports team or parking spot.
Ladies, what else impresses you?