November 29, 2011 by Kristen
Though I am settled on my present career path & believe that it is where God wants me, like most people, I still have a list of “dream jobs.” However, I’m 98.7% confident that my list of dream careers might look starkly different from the lists of others. Let’s see how my list compares with yours.
1. Namer of Hurricanes.
I have wanted this job since I was a tween. Someone names the hurricanes. Why not me? Yes, I’m fairly certain that person is a meteorologist. Forget that nonsense, I solely want to be the namer. I would have a special cell phone with an app that would update me on the latest hurricane formation, then I would promptly provide a name. I would abide by the rule of naming in alphabetical order, but I think it’s high time for some creativity. Desdemona, Galifianakas, Newt. Hurricane Taquwandaleesha, anyone? I have a gift.
2. Keeper of the Cup
Sooner or later, the keeper of Lord Stanley’s Cup is going to need to put away his white gloves and retire. That is when I will skate in and score that coveted job. I can lift 35lbs. I can fake being Canadian. I could resist the urge to mime while wearing the gloves. I would even try not to fawn over Jeff Skinner. Jokes. The Hurricanes aren’t winning the cup anytime soon.
3. America’s First Royal
The great fuss that was made by Americans over Kate and William’s wedding tells me this: there is a royal family void in the United States. A void that I plan to fill. I will be a figurehead only and remain uninvolved in politics. My focus will be on ribbon cutting, baby-holding, and wearing designer clothes. (Michelle Obama wouldn’t even looked fashionable compared to me.) Since the Brits have the market on the whole obnoxious hat thing, I’ll do what Americans do, and top them. Cheerio! I’m thinking masks or something? Still working out the kinks. But spread the word, I’m America’s first Queen. Or Princess, I haven’t decided which would endear me more to my adoring public.
4. Reality TV Star
So it’s pretty obvious that anyone can have a reality show about anything these days. Here are a few ideas I’m toying with:
-The Real Squatter of My Parent’s House (based off the hit show, The Real Housewives of Blah Blah Blah)
-22 & No Chance of Being Pregnant (all the drama you love from MTV’s 16 and Pregnant, minus all the drama)
-The Neighborhood Cul-de-sac (kind of like Jersey Shore meets the suburbs of the midwest)
– Kristen and No One + Her Friends (think Jon & Kate, without the awful haircut & verbal abuse + my friends who are far less annoying than bratty kids, but often just as child-like. Actually, we’ll keep the verbal abuse, but it’s still a no-go on the husband and freaky hair-do.)
-True Life: I Want to Be a Reality TV Star
So which career should I pursue first? What’s your dream job?