You can’t text message break up

15

November 9, 2011 by Kristen

…well actually you can if you’re in Jr.High and it’s one of those 2 day relationships. It’s actually the cordial thing to do. But for the rest of us–

So you’re in the middle of a text conversation with someone and it needs.to.end. Unlike a real conversation, you can’t really just say goodbye, walk away, fake a phone call, etc. Here are some helpful ways to end a text conversation:

1. Respond to everything with “lol.”

Example:
Friend*: So would you maybe want to see that movie Friday?
Me: lol.
Friend: So, is that a yes or no?
Me: lol.
Friend: Seriously?!
Me: lol.
Friend: Forget it.

Forgotten. *conversation terminated*

2.Use the word, “word.”

Example:
Friend: Yeah, so I was all like wtf. Can you believe that happened?  I should just quit, right?!
Me: word.

I didn’t say yes, I didn’t say no. And it counts as a response. *conversation concluded*

3. The text message courtesy laugh: “haha.” (Just two. “Hahaha” can be interpreted as encouragement to keep going)

Friend: lol  it was so awkward, I’m not even sure what to make of the whole situation.
Me: haha.

I laughed. *it’s done*

NOTE: all of these words or phrases are always ended with a period. A period ends a complete thought. It’s a punctuation mark that means a full stop. Use it. You could even try replying with just: .

You’re welcome.

How do you end text conversations? TTYL? G2G? ROFLCOPTER? LOLERSKATES? …well maybe not those last two.

*to my real friends, I would never use these on you…

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15 thoughts on “You can’t text message break up

  1. Paul Kitti says:

    in all seriousness, word.

  2. I have a strict no “LOL” policy so I must adapt. I live in Paraguay, South America as a missionary. Our cell service is a version of prepaid so we have 2 conversation killers at our disposal.

    -just don’t reply and the “Text Messen-stalker” thinks you’ve run out of balance.
    -we can send a free text to ask someone to give us some of their balance. This is risky cause the other party may feel so strongly about their message that they actually give you some balance. In which case the conversation is penance for the free balance.

  3. G Fresh says:

    If it’s quasi-late at night, I just say at the beginning of the conversation, “Hey, just an FYI, I’m a little tired so if I stop responding, it’s because I fell asleep. I do that sometimes.”. Possible problem pre-emptively solved.

    If it’s during the day, I just tell them I have narcolepsy.

  4. “K.” Which I hate so I am now going to use “word.” Thank you for the intervention.

    Also, kudos on the nuances on the number of ha syllables. Word.

  5. Oddly enough, this isn’t a common problem for me. My text exchanges tend to have a specific purpose, and that helps define a quick end to the conversation. I’m not much of a text chatter.

    Failing that, I’m not opposed to using silence. Or texting nonsense to confuse the other person. If a person is too persistent to be stopped by silence, confusion can be an effective tactic.

  6. Elizabeth says:

    I agree with Jamie. “k” is extremely effective. Please note that k is left without punctuation. This indicates that I barely had time to type even one letter and thus have no time to read or respond to any texts.

  7. Nick Cucco says:

    As a proud recipient of the #2 special, just wanted to say it’s truly an honor being your imaginary friend. Also, I think I might make a habit of commenting with relevant links: http://i.imgur.com/Os0Hj.jpg

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