Tossing a tradition


October 25, 2011 by Kristen

So the wedding season for this gal came to a close this past weekend. Each wedding was lovely, made me teary-eyed, and proved to this cynic once again, that love really does exist. Maybe I shouldn’t mention it has become somewhat of a tradition for my best friend and me to whisper “love is a lie” at bridal events…

Speaking of traditions.

I’ve already seen the  bridesmaids file down the aisle in dresses they totally can not “shorten and wear again.” The vows have been exchanged. The cake has been cut and served. (Hopefully the bride and groom didn’t smear it across each other’s faces. I predict the length of one’s marriage based off the cake cutting…cake in face=divorce.) I’ve done the awkward blink-really-fast-while-looking- upward to disguise my misty eyes during the first dance. The DJ has opened up the dance floor, my ungodly uncomfortable heels have been kicked under the nearest table, and I’m shakin’ it like a saltshaker. All is well in wedding world.

But then the music fades. The DJ says something along the lines of: “Can I get all the single ladies out on the dance floor? All the single ladies. It’s time for the…”

Bouquet toss.

“All the Single Ladies” blares and I don’t even try to hide my disgust. I find myself being pushed out onto the dance floor by my happily-married (and somewhat smug) friends. I stand off to the side in defiance and make zero attempt to catch the abysmal bouquet.

Notice my positioning at my sister’s wedding. I’m the one in the mint green pistachio floor-length dress I can totally shorten and wear again, strategically avoiding the fight for the bouquet in the center. I’m only standing in the front because it’s my sister–I had to show some support as the MOH.

(zoom in to see that I’m actually standing by myself…)

So why is the bouquet toss a terrible tradition?

1. It singles out the single women. Hey, some of us are fine with the single situation. We don’t need the reminder that we are at a wedding and alone in life.

2. It’s an act of revenge. Let’s be honest. Brides are making up for all the times they were forced out onto that dance floor. They relish in our misery. “Dance for it wenches,” they cry. (…well, maybe not to that extreme.)

3. It puts the single women on display for the single men. Not always a bad thing mind you…but sometimes a terrible thing. Fellow bouquet avoiders, you know what I’m talking about.

4. It makes some men uncomfortable. So your girlfriend of two months just caught the bouquet. Pressures on, sir! She is now looking at you with a dreamy smile, as visions of taffeta dance in her head.

5. Women are vicious and out of control—this tradition emphasizes that stereotype. I have seen women leap into the air, claws gleaming under the disco ball, as the bouquet sails in slow motion toward their vying grasp. It’s terrifying.

So will this be a tradition I toss out the window at my own wedding?

Please see point number two.

What do you think? What other wedding traditions should be tossed? 


15 thoughts on “Tossing a tradition

  1. G Fresh says:

    The garter toss needs to go. For pretty much all the reasons stated above. The only difference being, none of the single guys I know really scramble to try and get it; it’s more of a “If it comes in my general direction I guess I’ll try to catch it. Maybe. As long as I don’t have to exert myself whatsoever.”. I got a garter once that was wrapped around a little baby doll (the bride and groom were expecting and they thought they were being cute) because it literally came to a stop at my feet and I reached down and picked it up. 🙂

  2. […] and I to whisper “love is a lie” at bridal events… Speaking of … See the original post: Tossing a tradition « Light in Her Eyes Stella Sassen Fine Art Photography … – South Africa Wedding Blog Tags: across-each, best-friend, […]

  3. Wedding traditions to toss:

    -All of them.

    The whole wedding tradition needs to get tossed until people start to realize HOW MUCH MONEY THEY’RE SPENDING ON — AND HOW MUCH STRESS THEY’RE CREATING FOR — ONE FREAKIN’ DAY. I would love to be married someday but I do not want a wedding. Do. Not. Want. People have assumed I don’t want to be married when I say I don’t want a wedding. What? People of the planet earth: wedding != marriage. YOU CAN GET MARRIED WITHOUT A WEDDING. And then guess what? You can have a nice relaxing informal (and inexpensive) party later, when you get back from getting married without unnecessary stress and expense! And then you’ll have that $10,000-$20,000 for something useful and lasting, like a car or a down-payment on a house or a retirement fund or some of the basics of a home that you didn’t get as gifts from family and friends.

    I’ve come to dislike weddings even more in light of the terrible divorce rates in America these days. Seems like too many people put more effort into preparing for the wedding than they do into preparing for a serious commitment.

    I guess I’ve showed my deeply cynical side. Sorry about that. I just think it’s ridiculous how much time, money and stress people put into weddings. It’s completely unnecessary and often way over the top. Just get married, people. You don’t HAVE to have a full wedding. Just get married.

    • Kristen says:

      so, just so we’re clear—you’re a big fan of weddings, yes?

      • Oh yes. I can’t get enough of [not going to] weddings. I adore [taking a verbal machete to] all the [sickeningly] cute traditions [that are patently absurd unless you’re the one getting married, in which case you’re clinically, legally and morally brain-dead from the day you get engaged through the end of the wedding day, so your judgment is non-existent].

        (The unofficial slogan of my photography business is “Anything But Weddings.”)

  4. Also, on a lighter note: you’re standing in front of one of the photographer’s flashes. GET IT?! A lighter note?

  5. Mandie Marie says:

    I agree with all of the above. I once said to a bride, “Can you tell me when the bouquet toss will be so I know when to go to the bathroom?” Because that’s what I do.

    Also being especially short means I have no chance whatsoever to fend off the crazy desperate women. I hate hate hate this tradition. Thank you for this.

  6. Amanda says:

    Absolutely it needs to go! I can’t even get started on this topic it drives me crazy. Haha well said!

  7. gabriella says:

    I agree!! (I avoid it too… what if I catch it? I am not dating anyone… so…)

    I like the picture : )

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