Get it together girl.

9

October 7, 2011 by Kristen

I find myself saying, “Get it together, Kristen” quite frequently these days. Sometimes this phrase is uttered only in my head, or actually aloud—which is frightening. After talking to myself,  I reply with “get it together!” and the cycle perpetuates. Here are some ways to know when you need to get it together, based on my own autobiographical experiences.

1. Your bed has become a place to store things. What litters my bed at this precise moment? : 5 books, 1 backpack, 1 videocamera, 2 purses, 1 pair of pants, 1 skirt, and yours truly… And yes, I sleep with all those things in my bed. Is this because I spent 21 years of my life sleeping in a twin bed and want to maximize the extra space a full now offers? Subconsciously, do I fear sleeping alone? Am I just super disorganized? All I know is…I need to get it together.

2. You burst out laughing in the middle of class. Silent classroom, another student is speaking. Your thoughts are racing a mile a minute thinking of every little thing you need to do—stress turns to hysteria and presents as: audible laughter in a silent room.

3. It’s the morning announcements at the high school with a re-cap of the student’s variety show. The montage of Top 40 hits permeates your eardrums and you…Just.Wanna.Dance. You’re looking all professional on the outside in your pleated dress slacks (yeah, not pants, but actual slacks. dare I say blouse as well?) but inside you’re resisting the urge to break it down to some Party Rock Anthem. Like, seriously resisting. Just one little fist pump?

4. You’ve become a power dozer on the bus. Sunglasses on, headphones in…nap—commence! Love of sleep overpowers any thoughts of personal pride or social norms.

5. Having fallen asleep with a book and highlighter the night before, you arrive home from class to this:

A couple of issues here:

a) you have highlighter stains all over your bed & you really need to wash the sheets, but using inference skills about number 1…that would be quite the hassle.

b) your animals are alive! This freaks you out momentarily–but somehow you just knew all along. It explains a lot of recent paranormal activity and blanket hogging.

c) you live at home with your parents, and this kind of thing happens (however, I might have stood in my room laughing for a solid 10 minutes…I prefer this to the dog toys my dad usually places on my pillows.)

6. The word “girl” has seeped into your vocabulary. “Girl, I know!” “Girl, he did not.”
“Girl, I promise I’m educated.”

I’m gonna get it together. Soon. I think. I’ll pencil it in.

What about you? How’s it going?


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9 thoughts on “Get it together girl.

  1. Never change 6. Girl, never.

  2. Ken Hagerman says:

    The photo is like a band of traveling posh velour mystics are trying to channel the spirit of Woody from Toy Story but they are in the Hundred Acre Wood. Someone must alert Pooh that something is awry. Disturbing but hilarious.

  3. Mandie Marie says:

    I feel like this too, except anything I’ve tried to write comes out really bitter and frightening. Thanks for making me laugh today. Giiiiiiirl, I need to chill.

  4. lheathman says:

    PAH HA HA… the hightlighter spot was found! I always knew our animals were alive…yours are just extra creative!

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