Dialogue with Dad

13

September 30, 2011 by Kristen

My dad says the funniest things. Here are some of his witicisms. This could become a regular thing, as we engage in a plethora of absurd conversations.

Dad: What’s that song? “That’s not my name?”
Me: How do you know that song???
Dad: I sing it at work. They say, “Hey, moron! I need you to do this!” And I sing, “That’s not my name! That’s not my name!” So who sings that?
Me: The Ting Tings.
Dad: Ah yes, The Ting Tings. I’ll have to remember that.

…later…

Dad: Is that song on youtube?

– – – – – – – – – – – – –

Dad: So that’s what we’re wearing today? That’s a good look.
Me: I have to teach my kickboxing class. That’s why I’m wearing spandex.
Dad: Oh. I thought you just liked to wear that around. Kinda like how Zach likes to wear speedos.

– – – – – – – – – – – – –

*my dog is drinking water from his dish*
Dad: We should teach him to use a straw. It would be less noisy.

– – – – – – – – – – – – –

Dad: Four years ago, I predicted that Miley Cyrus would be the next Disney girl ruined.
Me: You’re like Nostradamus.
Dad: NostraDADDY.

– – – – – – – – – – – – –

Oscar Meyer turkey commercial: Shows a dad cutting a turkey at Thanksgiving, then a scene change to him eating a lunchmeat sandwich, while his screaming kids are throwing things & being all-around obnoxious

Me: That looks like hell to me.
Dad: Don’t worry…we’ll be having a real bird at Thanksgiving.
Me: …not the lunchmeat. The screaming kids. Lunchmeat doesn’t “look like hell” to me.
Dad: *pause* Well, we’ll be having a real bird regardless.

– – – – – – – – – – – – –

Enjoy your weekend. Go dialogue with dad.

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13 thoughts on “Dialogue with Dad

  1. breezyk says:

    Cute! My dad has some good ones as well.. often delivered by adding Ned Flanders-esque suffixes to the ends of things: i.e. “What are you up to, Breezy-Boodles? Gonna go see a moo-moo (movie) with your friends??” (And for some reason it only starts seeming weird when I type it? haha)

  2. HAHAHA i like the “is that song on youtube?” that is something my dad would say.

  3. Ken Hagerman says:

    “Well, we’ll be having a real bird regardless.” I am a total connoisseur of the understatement as comedy. To do this on purpose it would flail but in the natural flow of conversation it is fabulous.

    As for the Miley Cyrus prediction, I am sorry to say that this was not paranormal prophetic insight as much as status quo from the Disney skank factory but funny none the less.

    I think Dads have a gene that kicks in from the liberty of having adult kids, especially those with kids of their own. Their brains are free to think about ridiculous stuff instead of paying the mortgage next week.

    Keep it coming.

    • Kristen says:

      Agreed! My dad’s comments have gotten more absurd as I’ve gotten older. I prefer your theory—that he just has more freedom to think about ridiculous stuff, instead of the family joke that he is becoming senile 😉

  4. Jonny Nagel says:

    So you get your wittiness from your dad, I see. : ) These are all hilarious!

    • Kristen says:

      witty weirdness from Dad. Sarcasm from Mom. It’s amazing that I’m a somewhat functioning member of society 😉 (ha ha, I really do adore my parents.)

  5. He needs a shirt that says “NostraDADDY”. Make this happen.

  6. lheathman says:

    I cracked up reading this!

    I also love that he still refers to people from the Disney channel as that “Zoog girl” oh man

    • Kristen says:

      keep me informed of any dialogues you have with dad. Especially text messages with sound bytes or pictures of Tony the Tiger that say “You’re great!!”

  7. […] Haven’t had time to write in awhile, but my dad  has still been awesome during my hiatus. Enjoy. Check out his other quotable quotes here, here, here, and here.  […]

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