August 4, 2011 by Kristen
We all have dealbreakers. Those characteristics of a potential love-interest, that once noticed, make us suddenly have to “wash our hair”* every Saturday night from now until eternity. Here are a few of mine. Sadly, many are from firsthand experience.
- Favorite bands are Creed, Nickelback, and Three Doors Down.
- “I don’t like war movies. I just can’t stand the blood.”
Band of Brothers marathon tonight?–oh. you rented Up & want to snuggle.** Which leads me to…
- Attracted to men.
Surprisingly not a deal-breaker for some women, but I don’t think I could overlook this one. Sometimes I appreciate being told I “look nice,” when in reality I’m a hot mess. A sassy gay-friend will call you out everytime.
- Cat person.
This isn’t that big of a deal–I just don’t like cats and would intentionally torment any cat within a 5 foot radius of my person.
- Bench-presses less than I can.
It would be nice to think that a guy could protect me if push came to shove. Literally. Like if a fight broke out.
- Mouth-breathing, side-hugger.
I have not encountered this combination together in one person–but can you imagine? The horror.
- Asks me to define words or beseeches me not to “use such big words.”
Get a dictionary. You can start by looking up “beseech.”
- Likes to play Monopoly.
This one might be unfair. I just loathe Monopoly with every fiber of my being. I would prefer not to pass go and literally head straight to jail. I’m confident that purgatory is one never-ending game of Monopoly.
- Muscle tee, gold chain, and uses phrases like, “come at me, bro.”
Just can’t overcome that language/cultural barrier
- Uses your/you’re, too/to/two, and their/there/they’re interchangeably.
Grammar is sexy.
- Jean shorts.
Unless paired with New Balances & a tucked in polo. Hawt.
- Tweets pictures of every meal.
Personal preference on this one. Oh, you’re a chef? Then maybe it’s cool.
- PBR drinking hipster.
Well maybe I could like a hipster. Ironically, of course.
- Judges me for watching The Bachelor/ette
I promise I’m not shallow.
** This is quite nice on occasion.