I’m still a dreamer

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July 30, 2011 by Kristen

The song Dream by Priscilla Ahn describes the stages of my life.  When I hear it, I’m transported to a hazy realm of wildflowers, coffee at sunrise, and grass-stained blue jeans. It’s simple–unlike the confusion warring within.

Long walks in the dark,
through woods grown behind the park,
I asked God who I’m supposed to be.
The stars smiled down on me,
God answered in silent reverie.
I said a prayer and fell asleep.

The past couple years involved a lot of meandering and long-winding walks… pointless navigation down a labyrinth that seemed to be leading nowhere in particular.

Who am I supposed to be? What am I supposed to do? 

Tearful prayers met only with quiescence. Then a flicker of clarity, a moment when my heart would be filled with a new dream.

Remembering these dreams keeps me going when the journey is wearing. Several weeks ago my best friend gave me some “best-friend-sage-woman-of-the-Lord” advice (that was actually passed onto her by one of her friends during one of her own meltdown moments)–she said:

When things are stressful like this and you lose sight of the real reason you are doing it all… and it is all about getting there, take a moment to hang out with God and talk about it and just refocus where you are going and who is taking you there.

I desperately need to do that this month. I need those long walks with God to renew the dreams He has put in my heart. And realize that He is taking me wherever it is I’m going.

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